Glue in place of stitches

I want to destroy myself.

There's more, I guess, but that's the bottom line. That, and the point that it's not a random, abstract thought, and that I have reasons, and damned good ones, and the searing, slicing, stabbing pain in my heart whenever I am allowed to examine my mind and see, once again, what a monster I really am on the inside. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really even human.

I want to destroy myself, body and mind (and heart, just to escape the pain; and soul, just because I don't think I should even have one at this point.)